I have had the book 'Facing Love Addiction' by Pia Mellody for close to 2 years .... I have skimmed it, thumbed through it several times but never found it very helpful.
Following another gut wrenching argument with my boyfriend last night, I dug it out from the bottom of a huge pile of self help books and read it through a river of tears .... finally I get it, finally I understand, finally, I can admit it .... I am addicted to love.
What does this mean? This means that I have an overwhelming and unavoidable need to be loved, needed, accepted. Its not a sexual thing, but the need for an intense emotional connection that I cannot control. Something as simple as an argument sends me into a panic, setting into motion by greatest fear of abandonment.
Pia Mellody says that it can take up to 5 years to explore all of the underlying issues and beat a path to recovery. As an instant gratification, quick fix kind of a girl I am already very overwhelmed with this news. However, now that I know the truth I am ready to find a way to move forward.
I want to start out by saying I'm sorry. I am sorry to all the few guys who have tried in vain to love me, even though it was an impossible task. Most of all, I am sorry to my daughter, who I love so very much.
